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"There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again."
With signature remarks like these, it's hardly surprising that George W. Bush's malapropisms have become renowned around the world. Editions of Bushisms have become bestsellers in Germany, France, and Italy, and they remain as popular in the United States as ever. Jacob Weisberg, faithful scribe, here presents the best of the latest crop:
"There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like."
"I'm the master of low expectations."
"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."
- Sales Rank: #2052618 in Books
- Published on: 2003-11-04
- Released on: 2003-11-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.00" h x .30" w x 5.00" l, .21 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 96 pages
From Publishers Weekly
As Franken gleefully points out, Slate editor Weisberg has found a true gravy train, discovering enough previously uncollected nonsensical utterances by President Bush to fill a third volume. The president may have begun watching what he says since the publication of the first two volumes; Weisberg has to return to the 2000 campaign trail to fill out this collection. At least one statement, substituting "plowed" for "proud," raises the question of a presidential speech impediment, but that excuse won't get the self-proclaimed "master of low expectations" out of any of the other verbal missteps recorded here for posterity.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.
About the Author
Jacob Weisberg is the editor of Slate magazine and three previous editions of Bushisms. He lives in New York City.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Introduction
This year, Bushisms went global. As the ramp up to the Gulf War accelerated through the summer and fall of 2002, our syntactically challenged president did nothing to disguise his disdain for the views of those countries known in his father's day as "the allies." The nations of Europe responded to this insult in kind -- by buying my book.
In the United States, this series has attempted to bridge the divide between Bush detractors (who laugh at him) and Bush supporters (who can laugh with him). All remain welcome. But there's no hiding that the recent vogue for Bushisms in ol' Europe is primarily an expression of hostility toward Bush II and Gulf War II. Having been informed just how little their opinions matter inside the White House, members of the European Community comfort themselves with the notion that its current occupant is -- let us not mince words -- a semiliterate moron.
That is not to say that the world scorns Bush in a uniform manner. Though the feeling that Bush is a fool is common throughout Europe, the cadences vary from country to country. In Great Britain, where Bushisms supply fodder for a seemingly endless number of newspaper columnists, the notion of an American leader who lacks fluency in English is taken as vastly amusing. The British see Bush as a hip-shooting cowboy, but somehow a comic one -- Dr. Strangelove, yes, but with some Bart Simpson thrown in. Having survived the Reagan-Thatcher romance, they are not unduly alarmed.
The French, by comparison, seethe. They take le président américain for a corporate lackey, an ignorant imperialist, and a Texan religious fanatic. And they blame all of us for hiring him. In this joyless spirit, a well-known French publisher agreed to buy the translation rights to George W. Bushisms, then phoned back to say he would not be offering payment after all, as he had found the same material for free on an American website (mine!). I have been filling Evian bottles with tap water ever since and serving it to my guests. So far, no one has noticed any difference.
As for the Germans, they appear alternately amused and horrified. Voll daneben, Mr. President! (Well Said, Mr. President) presents itself as both a joke book and a conclusive indictment. During the war, it shared Deutsch bestseller status with Bob Woodward's Amerika im Krieg (Bush at War), which presumably sold to more Rumsfeld-friendly readers. Much as I appreciate the sales, there is something intrinsically hilarious about translating these nuggets -- and even more hilarious about rendering them into German. Most read as if unsuccessfully translated from German in the first place. Which really came first: "Meine Aussenpolitik wird ausgewogen sein" or "I will have a foreign-handed foreign policy"?
All of these Bushisms are previously uncollected, but in a break with previous practice, not all of them are new -- uttered in the past year. While pulling together a 2004 George W. Bushisms Calendar (available near the bookstore table where you are Frenchily reading this without intending to buy), my helper David Newman unearthed some older gems that somehow evaded previous anthologizing.
This ongoing project has given me a paradoxical interest in both Bush bashing (foreign sales!) and Bush's reelection (volumes IV, V, and VI!). I continue to ignore such incentives and simply offer up what I find.
Jacob Weisberg
August 2003
Copyright © 2003 by Jacob Weisberg
Foreword
by Al Franken
Along with a whole pack of other journalists, Jacob Weisberg covered Governor George W. Bush during the long months of the 2000 presidential campaign. Every single one of those journalists heard Bush make one stupid remark after another, day after day:
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."
"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."
Yet it was Weisberg alone who understood the commercial potential for collecting these idiotic remarks in the form of a small trade paperback book, the kind that could be kept by the toilet, and picked up now and then for a few moments of distraction and some surefire laughs.
This is the third in the series. Fortunately, for Weisberg, the president continues to have problems either forming ideas in his head or expressing those ideas when he opens his mouth. And so the Bushisms series has become quite the gravy train for Weisberg, a dream come true for any political writer, because it actually involves no writing.
In fact, it seems, I am the only one doing any writing for this book at all. And yet, when Weisberg puts together his curriculum vitae, it will include three international bestsellers. Yes, these books are popular not only in the United States -- and in places like Germany, France, and Italy, where Bush is considered an out-of-control cowboy -- but also in countries that made up the Coalition of the Willing against Iraq. Countries like England, Poland, Tonga, and the Solomon Islands.
And, as an American, that worries me to some extent. It is one thing to have the rest of the world believe that our president cannot be trusted. It is quite another for them to think he is stupid.
Because he is not. It has taken me some time to come to this point of view. You see, facility with language is only one aspect of intelligence. Bush, as I have come to appreciate, is a shrewd, if dishonest, politician who surrounds himself with like-minded advisers.
"Compassionate Conservatism." "By far a vast majority of my tax cuts go to those at the bottom." "No Child Left Behind" -- the most ironically named piece of legislation since the 1942 "Japanese Family Leave Act." All these in their way are as funny as any of the malapropisms in this volume.
And there may even be some method to Bush's seeming stupidity. Take, for example, when he told us during the 2000 campaign that he doesn't mind being "misunderestimated." Sure, this sounded crazily dumb. But maybe in his own way he was outsmarting us all. Maybe by "misunderestimated," he meant that he doesn't mind being underestimated for the wrong reason. It was okay that we thought he was stupid. Hell, that lowered expectations for the debates. What we were really underestimating was his capacity to fool us.
Take another example. "Subliminable." Remember how during the campaign he said "subliminable" four times after being asked whether a Republican ad had used the word "rats" subliminally? Maybe by saying "subliminable" so many times, Bush was himself using a subtle subliminal technique to give people the unconscious message that he was "able" to be president. "Subliminable...subliming-able...subliminably I am "able" to be president." Got it?
So, go ahead. Laugh at the dumb things President Bush has said over the past year or so. But don't be fooled. He's less stupid than you think.
Copyright © 2003 by Al Franken
Most helpful customer reviews
38 of 38 people found the following review helpful.
Straight From the Horse's Mouse
By Edwin C. Pauzer
After reading this short book of Bushisms, it's hard to believe that the President of the United States could have so many neurons and synapses misfiring in his noggin. After all, this is the man who has his finger on the button, that's if he can remember the code, or recite it correctly.
This is the man who followed his mother's suggestion to always use a thesaurus so he would never use the same word twice. It's unfortunate he could not recognize a homonym and instead wrote, "The lacerates came streaming down her face." (It makes you wonder how Mr. Shortcircuit could have ever gotten into Yale without having had his grandfather on its board of trustees.)
I have given this only three stars because the calendar of Bushisms offers far more verbal stumblings and gaffes than this provides--365 to be exact. At only eighty-three pages, it is funny but does not contain the best of Bush, the bonehead. Even though I paid very little, I don't think it was worth the S & H.
This book is neither for republicans, nor Bush suppporters, nor English teachers. (Yes, I know.)
As our president said, "I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer querstions. I can't answer your question."
You just can't make this stuff up!
And this is straight from the horse's mouse.
43 of 48 people found the following review helpful.
Don't know whether to laugh or cry
By A Customer
Make no mistake about it. Apart from a few flubs, this is not a book of mere malapropisms, nor would the first-rate journalist Jacob Weisberg have compiled it if that's all it amounted to.
No, to the careful reader, this book offers insight into the frighteningly simple mind (and shallow character) now in charge of decisionmaking on vital matters of war, diplomacy, the economy and the environment.
For example, is this a man who cares to learn anything about environmental protection in the Arctic?
..."the explorationists are willing to only move equipment during the winter, which means they'll be on ice roads, and remove the equipment as the ice begins to melt, so that the fragile tundra is protected."
Sure, you'll laugh, and laugh hard, but the question all Americans should ponder after reading this book is: how did someone of this caliber come to power in the world's greatest meritocracy? Where is the accountability of the university powers-that-be who admitted W. to Harvard and Yale? Why was much of the U.S. press and public in 2000 so oblivious to Bush's SCANDALOUS lack of preparation for the highest office in the land? Where was the examination of his character back in 2000, when Bush made it a leading campaign issue?
This is the book Kafka urges us to read: a book that "bites and stings" with implied rebuke: how did we let this calamity (this president of both breathtaking stupidity and impoverished character) happen?
53 of 66 people found the following review helpful.
Seldom is the Question Asked, Is Something Wrong with Him?
By Neocons_R_Idiots
I used to laugh at Bush's verbal gaffes too, but seldom is the question asked, is there something wrong with the man? Has he fallen off the wagon? Is his brain fried? Mine would be if I kept up the party-boy lifestyle I had as a college undergrad until I was 40. Think about it, wouldn't your brain be toast too after decades of alcohol and possibly cannibus and poppi abuse? Consider, in the August 2004 timeframe alone, Bush: > stammered some hysterically incomprehensible gibberish about tribal sovereignty to a group of native american journalists. Though it doesn't make for a good Bushism "sound byte" his incomprehensible, rambling, ad hoc answer was funny (there's a Quicktime video of this on the web...) Until you realize how remarkabley unprepared he was. His reply to a straightforward soft ball question also was offensive to native americans, who can actually be heard gasping in the background when his answer implied that native americans were "given" their sovereignty by the US government. > Actually, really, said, "Our enemies will never stop seeking ways to harm our country and its people, AND NEITHER WILL WE!" durning a press conference where he signed a $400 billion plus dollar military appropriation. Doh! > Last but not least, made a mega-freudian-faux pax on the campaing trail in front of thousands when he said something to the effect that... "we must not stop OB/GYN doctors from spreading their love of woman across the country." HA-HA-Huh?! Bear in mind, these >all occured around a one month period
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